Monday, December 8, 2008

The Home Front


This morning over breakfast, Mari reminded me of something so important yet so simple that it completely slipped my mind… I have yet to mention our own kids on this blog site and how important they are in this process. I have been presented with a big serving of humble pie with a heaping side dish of reality.


Andy & Kelsey are 20 and 18, respectively. They are high school graduates and currently the keepers of (several of) our affairs back in Nebraska. This is a big step for all four of us as Mari and I have entrusted them with a great deal of responsibility. Are they ready for it or not? Looks like they don't have much choice. It seems so unfair to thrust so much on them, but as we look around here, it really isn’t (unfair). There are children, yes, children in the States, here in Ukraine and in several other areas who either take on responsibility or have it thrust upon them to make lives and fend for themselves at age 16, sometimes younger.

Back at the home front, Andy & Kelsey are working their jobs and Kelsey is taking classes at Metro Community College in Elkhorn, NE. In addition, they are managing our accounts to pay the bills we can’t pay online, buying groceries, fixing their own meals, taking care of the animals and keeping up with our typical household chores; much like when we were home without the added luxury of having Mom & Dad around to provide guidance and support and do the things they normally don’t do.

We do have access to internet and e-mail, as well as Skype ® to communicate with them on an almost daily basis either via chat room or an actual face-to-face video. It does not take a whole lot of time to set up or get connected; it’s just ensuring we can find that window of opportunity to compensate for the 8 hour time difference between here & there. The only other curse is the intermittent internet connection.

This past weekend we were able to “Skype” with the kids while Vera was here. Okay, so the language barrier kicks in again and we’re limited to “How are you?” “I am fine.” “What did you do today?” “Nothing.” And other simple question/answer sessions. There is a sense of reality that we are getting close to completing the adoption, just how close is yet to be determined.

We have also hooked Mari’s mom up with Skype and have been able to fill her in on our current status and tell her what we’ve been doing (other than sitting around in our small apartment) and to key her in on the kids.

The Skype phone was another great addition to the plan. For a (phe)nominal fee, we got a U.S. based phone number and have been able to strategically place phone calls to people we wanted or needed to talk to back home… Like the unexpected birthday calls to Mari’s mom and my aunt or a call to my dad to let him know we are okay (it got cut off… Speciba, Ukrainian internet).

It makes our day complete to know that one of them is on the other end and we can share some of the things we have done. Play 20 questions about what needs to be done around the house and/or what has been accomplished in their day.

How was work?
How was class?
Has anyone called to check up on you? Who?
Did the bills get paid and what’s coming due?

Finally, we tell them we can’t wait to get back home, we love them, we miss them more than one can imagine and we are so proud of them for shouldering our normal burdens.

2 comments:

Kevin and Pam said...

Just found your blog. I should have asked if you had one when I was there. Hoping things are moving along for you guys. You mentioned the language barrier, I am so shocked at how well we are getting by. Justin is picking up so much language already. I started an English lesson with him yesterday, as well as reading and math. He is adjusting much better than I ever would have expected!

adopting2fromUkraine said...

Hi,

I just found the link to your blog on the Pretre's blog.

We have older children also and left our two boys home when we went to Ukraine last December/January. They did just fine. I took care of all the bills beforehand, so they didn't have that responsibility. They just had to feed themselves, mostly out of the freezer and buy perishables with the pre-paid store card I bought for them ahead of time. We also had friends check on them. They did fine.

The trip stretched all of us.

Best wishes!
June